Yesterday I asked my therapist a question:
“How are you doing… really?”
I started seeing a therapist about two years ago. At the time, it was about a mental health tuneup. It later turned into a lifeline when facing unexpected situations like: “You have cancer” and “You may never sing again.” (Spoiler alert: I’ll live and I can.)
I started seeing this particular therapist about 4 weeks ago, after my previous and much beloved therapist retired. She and I are still new to each other, so I wasn’t sure if she would think my ask was weird.
She was surprised, but answered honestly: She is struggling, but hopeful. She likes that she can help people through her work. This then turned into a broader talk about the general state of mental health.
It was one heck of a conversation.
It is also a conversation I think we all need to hear.
Imagine a year where:
- Illness has touched everyone–either you or loved ones
- People lost those they love and could not be with a supportive network of family and friends
- You’re making up for lost time–the first school concert in ages, the postponed wedding
- You’re trying to celebrate a milestone at a time others may not feel like celebrating
- You or someone you know is facing job loss or financial uncertainty
- Plans you make change frequently and by things entirely out of your power or control
- You have routines, and then new routines, and then other new routines
- You’re navigating your perceived safety (and that of your family) daily
- You are navigating complicated conversations about safety with people who may have different viewpoints.
Then add in the normal stuff: daily responsibilities, working, caregiving.
Now, sprinkle the holidays on top.
I would say: “You got this.” But as we all now know: None of us “got this.” These are times when everyday living requires a daily shot of courage.
Instead, I will say: If you are reading this, it means you’ve lived through the worst of times and survived. I’d say that’s pretty damn brave of you.
Even superheroes don’t win all their battles (just ask the Avengers), but they always show up–just like you.
Thank you for showing up.
About the Author: TJ Condon is the author of the award-winning book, Some Assembly Required: A True Story of Love and Organ Transplants, a funny book about everything going wrong.
